


Do you love me?

by teakai (clairnovak)



Category: EXO (Band), SHINee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-28 23:04:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3873145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clairnovak/pseuds/teakai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Do you love me?"</p>
<p>"Of course I do Nini, we're soulmates."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do you love me?

**Author's Note:**

> this is my second drabble after not writing for like 5 years literally I hope you enjoy it this ship kills me orz also the rv is minor but I felt I should mention that they're in here kinda like rv cameo. Based of the prompt "do you love me" and the au floating around tumblr where you know your soulmate's last words
> 
> edit: just to clarify the soulmate thing basically works so that when you turn 13 your soul mates last words end up written on your wrist meaning that you don't find out if the person you are with is your soulmate until they die super tragic au honestly

"Do you love me?"

"Of course I do Nini, we're soulmates."

\--

Jongin glances down at his wrist for the millionth time that day. It wasn't just any day, today was the day Jongin turned 13 and it was well known that on your 13th birthday words would appear on your wrist, dark ink staining your skin permanently; wanted or not. Jongin was waiting, waiting for the moment that he would discover his soulmates words, which is great until the part where it's not just any words, but rather their last. It was cruel to be honest, having their words with you until the day you die not knowing for sure if you were meant to be until your lover lets out their last breath. 

Many people choose to cover their wrists before their 13th birthday preferring to put their trust in their hearts rather than some divine path that everyone is supposed to follow. Others relish in the romantic implications of the markings showing off such phrases as, "I love you," and "You've always been the only one." For the younger generation it has become a game; who has the best words, the most romantic, the funniest. Jongin doesn't think it's funny, doesn't take the idea of his soulmate dying lightly. He's also worried, concerned that when the person he chooses to spend his life with utters their last words they won't match up to those on his wrist. It happens more often than people like to think, soulmates not finding each other. It scares Jongin that he may spend his whole life with the wrong person. 

The boy's eyes flick to his wrist again then back to the clock before the black ink registers and he does a double take. His heart stops when he sees the words scrawled across his wrist. 

"I'll see you in class tomorrow Jonginnie." 

Class. 

This couldn't be right.

The next day when people see Jongin with his wrist covered up they ask him what it says beneath the thick leather bracelet. Jongin tells them that he doesn't know, that he chickened out and covered it before he got a chance to read it. Jongin decides he won't fall in love until he's out of school for good. He can't lose his soulmate before their life together even begins. 

\--

Jongin meets Taemin when he's 15. The boy is older than him but doesn't act like it. He's shy and withdrawn at first, a lot like Jongin. It's not until they are assigned a project together for their literature class that they finally talk. 

"My name is Lee Taemin and I like steak and dancing." The small boy holds out his hand to Jongin. 

Jongin just stares at it for a moment before bursting into a fit of giggles. Taemin looks upset and very uncomfortable and Jongin quickly tries to stop his laughter apologizing profusely and saying that he was laughing because it was cute. It may have been a trick of light but Jongin thinks he sees a blush rise to Taemin's cheeks. 

"I'm Kim Jongin and I like ballet. Let's work well together!" 

\---

Once Taemin comes out of his shell it's endless fun. They become attached at the hip, people call Jongin when looking for Taemin and vice versa. They hear people whisper about them sometimes, how they're always together, what good friends, I could swear they were dating but-. The talk doesn't bother them, they're best friends, let people think what they want. Having a best friend is new. Sure he was close to Sehun his next door neighbor and friend since they were babies, but compared to the sense of belonging he feels when he was with Taemin, Sehun can't possibly be Jongin's best friend because if he was then what would that make Taemin?

Six months into their friendship and they practically know each other inside out and yet Jongin still hasn't seen Taemin dance. He decides it's time to fix this. 

"Come with me to the dance room after school." Jongin demands during lunch one day. 

Taemin nods and goes back to eating his meal. As soon as the last bell rings they head to the lockers quickly changing into the sweats they keep at school for their P.E. class. Jongin leads the way to the small dance studio the school has in the basement. It's not much but it has some bars and floor to ceiling mirrors on one wall. Jongin pulls out his iPod and puts on some music while they warm up. He finds himself watching Taemin. He doesn't warm up like a typical dancer, his stretches a bit off and his routine far from the usual plies and arabesques. There's something unique and interesting about the way he moves that captivates Jongjn. 

"Are you just going to stare or are we going to dance?" 

Taemin's voice cuts through his thoughts. Right, they're here to dance. They let the iPod play on shuffle dancing freely to whatever plays. Taemin is beautiful when he dances, there is something ethereal about the way he moves his body. Jongin catches his eyes glued to the other boy more than once. 

Afternoon dance sessions became a thing on the days they don't have other classes after school. Jongin loves dancing with Taemin. The energy between them when they dance together is like nothing he has ever experienced. It's relaxing compared to the strict ballet exercises he's used to. Dancing with Taemin comes as naturally as breathing. 

They're heading down to the basement one day when Jongin realizes he left his iPod at home. He turns to Taemin and is quickly reminded that the elder boy had misplaced his ipod almost a month ago and it has yet to turn up again. They walk past the choir room and Jongin decides to take and chance and ask if anyone has in iPod they could borrow and return later. A small girl who looks like she could be in middle school steps away from the group and rummages through her backpack producing an MP3 player and holding it out to Jongin. 

"You can borrow this one it has a good mix of upbeat songs on it and a couple we've recorded on our own I hope that's fine with you." 

"Ah sounds great uh - sorry I don't know your name."

"Yerim! Oh but you can call me Yeri and these are my friends Wendy, Irene, Seulgi and Joy. I actually don't go to this school yet but if I leave before you get a chance to return it you can give it to one of them."

Jongin nods again and smiles at the girls before dashing out to the hall where Taemin is waiting. 

"Seducing little middle school girls I see." Taemin smirks and Jongin shoves him lightly. 

"I just asked nicely now be grateful if it wasn't for me we would be dancing in silence." 

When they get to the dance room Jongin sets the player on shuffle and plugs it in to the speaker. As promised an upbeat tune fills the air and they begin to dance. It was nearing the end of their practice when the music was interrupted by the sound of shuffling like someone was adjusting a mic. A girls voice fills the air a second later. 

"This is Red Velvet live recording and um this is our song Candy I hope you enjoy."

A couple seconds later and music starts to play. It's slower than what they usually dance to and Jongin is about to go change it when Taemin holds him back. 

"Dance with me Jonginnie," he says a smile spreading across his face. 

Taemin takes Jongin's hands and places them on his waist wrapping his own arms around the taller boys neck. They sway back and forth to the music. Taemin steps onto his friends feet and laughs as Jongin tries to walk around with the added weight. Jongin likes the feeling of Taemin's waist beneath his palms, the soft pads of Taemin's fingers tickling his neck. He feels like he's floating. 

"I want to be the only one who has you," the girl on the tape sings. And it's true Jongin doesn't want to share Taemin. He doesn't want anyone else to see him like this head resting lightly on Jongin's shoulder a soft smile on his face, completely unguarded. Jongin pushes the thoughts out of his head and continues to move to the rhythm. He can't fall in love. Not until later, not until he was sure his lover was going to grow old with him. Had he seen the look Yeri had given them when she had come into the room to retrieve her MP3 player, changing her mind after seeing the two dancing, he would have known it was already too late. Deep down Jongin can see it too. For once falling in love with someone who's not his soulmate seems like a pretty good option. 

\--

They were sitting on Jongin's bed flipping through dance magazines and doing homework when Jongin realizes he has never asked Taemin what was on his wrist. They were best friends, he figured he may as well bring it up. He turned to Taemin and was taken aback for a moment when he sees Taemin's now blonde hair lit up like by the lamp on the desk behind him. It looks like he has a halo, a fitting comparison considering Taemin's beauty could probably put some angels to shame. Jongin's eyes trail down from his friends eyebrows furrowed in concentration to his full lips, the tip of his tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth. Jongin almost forgets what he wants to ask but manages to shake himself from his stupor long enough to get it out. 

"Yah Taeminnie, I never asked you what's on your wrist before."

Taemin looks up from the page he was reading. "Oh I never looked," he pauses momentarily glancing down at the black ribbon he kept tied around his wrist, "My parents never looked and they're happy so I decided not to either."

"Oh," Jongin lets out, "Me too."

He's not sure if he's disappointed or not. Maybe it's better this way. 

\--

They spend the summer before their 3rd year in the sun. Taemin gets long brown extensions and ties his hair up in a ponytail. Jongin won't admit it but the new hair does things to his heart. They camp at the beach lying in the sand and looking out over the ocean. Waves lull them to sleep at night and in the morning they walk in the fog collecting shells and writing messages in the sand. Jongin forgets why he wears leather around his wrist and starts to falls headfirst. 

Taemin is like the ocean and Jongin wants nothing more than to drown. 

\--

The two friends apply to college together. Taemin plans to double major in business and modern dance, ambitious but to Taemin, Jongin thinks, dancing is like breathing so he'll manage. Jongin has his mind set on ballet aiming to join the Korean national ballet company as soon as he can. They film their audition tapes together taking days to get an hour of work done due to constant breaks and fooling around. When all the essays are written, tests completed and tapes edited to perfection they lick the large envelopes sealing in the contents. 

"Jonginnie I have an idea. Let's write a letter to each other and seal them away in an envelope. If we both get in then we can open them when we graduate and look back on this and laugh at how young and worried we were."

Jongin agrees and Taemin hands him a paper. His letter is short and to the point. 

Dear Taemin, 

I think I love you even though I know I shouldn't - I can't. I pray everyday that you're not my soulmate. I would rather stay by your side as a friend for the rest of my life than lose you a single day earlier. I'm sorry.

Your friend,

Kim Jongin

\--

Taemin turns down yet another confession. It's the third time this month and each girl is prettier and sweeter than the last. 

"What's with you refusing to date anyone? What do you like someone already Lee Taemin?" Jongin says teasingly not anticipating Taemin's completely serious answer. 

"I think I love someone."

Jongin's heart stops. His mind flashes back to when they were dancing so long ago and when realized he didn't want to share Taemin with anyone. He can feel his heart breaking a little but forces himself to act normal. This is for the best, after all he carries a curse on his wrist. 

"Who is it?" Jongin bites out, perhaps a bit sharper than he intended. 

Taemin is taken aback at first and opens his mouth as if to say something before reconsidering it and giving Jongin a look that said everything. 

It can't be. Not him this wasn't right. But Taemin has never been good at hiding how he feels and suddenly Jongin's leather bracelet feels like a lead chain. 

Taemin leans over and places a kiss on Jongin's cheek.

"Do you love me?" Jongin chokes out. He's shaking now and breathing heavily. 

"Of course Nini we're soulmates." 

As soon as the s would leaves Taemin's mouth Jongin bolts running as fast and as far away from Taemin as he can. He remembers why he wears a band on his wrist, he doesn't know how he ever forgot. 

\--

They don't speak for a week.  
It's not for the reason Taemin thinks.  
Jongin wishes he could scrub the ink of his skin.  
He rubs at it until his wrists are red and raw but it won't disappear. 

\-- 

A week without Taemin and he can't take it anymore. No one said Taemin was his soulmate and even if he was there's no proof that these things are always right. Jongin finds Taemin asleep in the dance room. There are dark circles beneath his eyes and Jongin can tell he's barely been sleeping. He nudges the older boy awake and kisses him hard. For a second he thinks Taemin is going to fight back but instead the shorter boy melts into his arms kissing him back feverishly. 

"I love you too," Jongin whispers when they finally pull apart. 

Maybe Taemin is the wrong person. Maybe he won't die. And maybe he is the right person destined to an early demise, but whether they spend Taemin's potential last moments together or apart nothing is going to change. 

It's too late for them anyway, they're already in love. 

\-- 

They're happy. Taemin comes over every day. He questions Jongin's clingy demeanor at first but eventually just accepts it as another one of his boyfriend's many quirks. 

Today they are trying to bake something but neither of them has much talent when it comes to food preparation of any kind. Jongin is measuring out the flour when Taemin pokes him in the arm startling him and sending the flour flying all over himself. Taemin dissolves into laughter and Jongin bursts into a fit of sneezing. He makes his way over to the hysterical Taemin and envelops him an a massive hug making sure to rub off as much of the white powder as he can. Taemin shoves him playfully and grabs another handful of flour throwing it at Jongin. They start a flour fight and somewhere along the way an egg gets cracked on Jongin's head and then it's really on. Jongin goes to the sink and fills a cup with water pouring it all over Taemin's head and shoulders turning the flour into a thick paste. Taemin pulls him into a hug and then they're kissing again and it tastes like flour but it's Taemin and Taemin is beautiful gooey white paste and all. Taemin goes to shower and Jongin follows. They've bathed together since they were children and Jongin runs his hands down Taemin's pale back before helping him scrub the flour out of his hair. It's all very intimate yet innocent at the same time and Jongin finds himself thinking that he could spend the rest of his life like this. 

After they dry off and change into clean clothes, Taemin wearing Jongin's shirt despite practically having a drawer of his own, they clean up the kitchen and lie down on the couch Taemin's legs draped over Jongin's lap as he reads that nights assignment. Jongin had his laptop out and was typing up an essay for his English class. "Taemin guess what?" 

Taemin raises an eyebrow and Jongin says, "I love you," in nearly perfect English. 

Taemin throws a pillow at him but still says it back. 

Around 10 Taemin sits up and starts gathering his things. 

"Going so soon?"

Taemin nods and reminds Jongin that they both have school early tomorrow. 

"I'll miss you."

"We see each other everyday," Taemin shakes his head, "Just call me okay."

Jongin smiles and presses a kiss to his boyfriend's lips. 

"I'll see you in class tomorrow Jonginnie." 

Taemin closes the door behind himself and Jongin goes back to the couch trying to work on his essay some more. By this point Jongin has forgotten that those words meant something. He's heard them slip from Taemin's lips so many times without anything happening he's begun to believe they aren't real.  
At exactly 10:47 Jongin breaks his concentration and dials Taemin's number. 

No one picks up. 

\-- 

The news of the car crash spreads through the school like wildfire.  
The driver was drunk and came out of nowhere.  
The death was instant.  
Jongin takes his bracelet off after that.  
No use pretending anymore. 

\--

Jongin gets into college with generous scholarships.  
All he can think about is how Taemin won't be going with him. 

\--

As he steps onto stage for his first performance as the lead of the Korean National Ballet company, the youngest in history, he swears he sees a familiar flash of dyed blonde hair and a mischievous smile. 

\-- 

Jongin opens the envelope they made when they were kids. Taemin's letter is even shorter than his own. 

Dear Nini,

I hope I get up the guts to confess before you before you read this. I love you Kim Jongin. 

Yours truly,

Taemin 

Kyuengsoo finds his roommate sitting on the ground shoulders heaving and tears streaming down his face. 

"I'm sorry," he whispers. 

"I'm sorry too."

\--

Jongin never looks at Taemin's file to see what was written on his wrist.  
Some things are better left unknown.


End file.
